This is for all the mothers who are feeling let down by the British Government and the CSA. This is our chance to get our voice heard and the rights that we deserve as mothers.. All I want is Fathers to know that a child is for life and it needs to be fed and clothed!

Have you been let down by the CSA ( Child Support Agency)? Is your ex husband claiming that he has no money and cannot find work, therefore cannot help with the child's maintenance? Have you been working all hours of the day to make ends meet and give your children all the best? Have you given up your social life, are you living 24/7 for your kids, and hardly getting any support? Are you running after childcare?
If you answered yes to most of these questions then you are in the same situation as many mothers in the UK , me and a very close friend of mine.

The British government says that we live in a 1st world country, but honestly I feel that I am living in medieval times, when people manage to get away with murder!!

Why is it that a woman, a mother with a job can manage to wake up in the morning, get the kids ready for school, take them to school, go to work, pick them up from school club or their childminder, get home, bath them, feed them, help them with their homework, read with them, put them to bed and then look at her watch and see that it is already 9pm, and she still has to do some work from home! ( that would be my case). Weekends are dedicated to the activities that they cannot do during the week such as ballet, piano, swimming, etc.
I ask myself why are we women capable of doing all this? Why are we prepared and manage to give up our own time and life for the well being of our kids?

There is a simple answer to that...
We love our kids and we want to give them the best in life, we want them to learn values, morals and principals, so they can lead a healthy and stable life. We want them to grow up to be successful and happy.
Apart from the fact that women are more flexible, versatile, intelligent and can do many things in one go.

Why is it that men who father children, after a separation or divorce decide that they do not have anymore obligations what so ever towards the children? Making the child is fun isn't it? But they forget that a child is for life....

It is so unfortunate and sad to see all these men just forgetting about their responsibilities as fathers. We have Rights for Fathers organization... But what do these men want? Access to their children? Yes fair enough, no parent should be denied access, but a parent that wants access must remember that their children need to be fed, clothed, need toys, books, holidays, leisure , entertainment, birthday parties, hobbies and so on. They need attention, dedication, love, moral and emotional support.
Why is it that these men come and demand their rights but do not want to live up to their responsibilities?
Why do they see their kids just as simple trophies and not a human beings that need to be nurtured, loved, fed, clothed? Being a parent is being by their side when they are ill, through their tantrums, the changes that they are going through, through happy and hard moments.

Why is it that they can go to the CAFCASS officer and the courts and lie in a shameless way about their situation and point at the mother as being the villain?
Do they actually have an idea of what it is to be a mother? All the effort , time and dedication that is devoted to this little person, that you want to see to grow into someone good and virtuous.

Why can they lie about their income to the Inland revenue, go on the dole and work cash in hand?
What happens when they do that? Not only are they evading their taxes, but we are paying to keep them alive by paying our taxes.

What happens next?

The CSA only has access to their income via the Inland Revenue, if they are evading their taxes how will they know? If they are saying that they are on the dole or if they are working cash in hand and Inland Revenue isn't aware, the CSA will end up awarding you £5 , yes you haven't read wrong, it is £5 per week no matter if you have one, two or four kids!

This outrages me, and it outraged me so much that I and a friend decided to do something about it!
The so called Fathers go out dressing in super heroes outfits, chaining themselves to gates, climbing walls in protest, sitting on cranes to get their voice heard!! But if you stop and have a close look at these men who are seeking attention, you will find ex convicts, abusers, alcoholics, tax evaders, drug users, etc....

I have had enough of all of this, and these so called fathers getting away without paying the child's maintenance as it should be paid... If they want to have access to their kids they need to know that responsibilities comes with it.

The problem is that most of the mothers are too competent and they know that their kids will not go hungry or cold. All they want is to have the kids when it is convenient and parade them in front of their friends, but would they ever give up a football match, party or a good day/night out with their mates for their kids, would they? My ex use to see his kids on a regular basis, before he ended contact for 2 years, he would take the kids over night, but if he had a football match to watch he would dump them with his sister. If he had to play football he would just take drag them along and leave them with some female friend. Hardly ever would there be outings to the cinema, park, theatre, oh no, that would be demanding too much!! Pubs where all the friends would be were always more appealing. And he would always be sure that a female friend was with him to help him cope. To look after the kids while he would drink his pints!

My kids and I are always doing something over the weekend or when there is an event during the week, and I work everyday! According to the ex the kids can learn valuable skills watching Daddy playing football and having a drink in the pub! Yeah, lets learn how to be an airhead just like Daddy!!! yeahhhh!!

It is time we got our voice heard, but in a decent way....

We need to get our statements out there, we need the CSA to be revised and given more power to dig into the father's life, not only have access to the Inland Revenue... They need to have access to their bank accounts, credit card statements, how many trips one does per year, what are their out goings per week or per month...

I was so outraged with the CSA when I received my award maintenance letter that I cried like I hadn't cried for many months!

But I didn't just sit back and accept it! I began fighting for what I believed in... And now the CSA and Inland Revenue are taking the matter further... Will I get results? I don't know, I can only pray and hope and keep on top of them so they can do the right thing.

What I cannot admit is sitting back knowing that the ex travels at least twice a year, partying every night and laughing in glory to the letter that the CSA sent him demanding £5 in maintenance!

I ask you is it fair???

If you believe in this, and agree with me, and find your self in the same situation, please share your story with me, little by little we can start doing something about it. The more mothers we have the easier it will be. We will join our minds and get new ideas to sort this mess out.

Natacha